So, this is my first post, ever. Well, on this site, at least. I'm Rose. I'm almost 45-years-old and it took me until a few years ago to take myself seriously as a writer. I have two eBooks published on Smashwords.com and I'll add the links to those stories when I'm done here. I'm a little nervous, but I really want to get my name out there. I use my writing as an outlet for my anger, sadness, and past trauma. In addition to turning people on, I think if people really read between the lines (pun intended), they'll get to the heart of what I'm doing and saying.
Ya see I was married from 1998 until 2003. He filed for divorce in 2007 when he decided he wanted someone else. I didn't walk away from the marriage (though, I probably should have). He did. Our kids don't really even think of him as a father anymore. Yeah, I guess that's sad, but they aren't sad about it. They were angry for a very long time. Our oldest even tried to forge a relationship with him. I never spoke against it. I just said, "I don't want to be a part of it."
Unfortunately, I wanted to stay civil with him for the sake of my kids, and he knew how to get in touch with me through Facebook. His girlfriend at the time decided to harass me. When my oldest deleted her from their Facebook (the woman never even said hello to my kid), she got mad and thought I had something to do with it. My child was around 16 or 17 at the time and controlled their own FB. Instead of letting her know that, my ex decided to tell her I probably told them to do it.
When I called him out on it, he tells me, "I told her your mom probably told "them" to do it. You know your mom was always in our business!"
"Umm... no! I think that was YOUR mom who used to stand outside our bedroom door, listening to our conversations! I think that was YOUR mom always telling YOU what to do, or telling ME what to do in our marriage! MY mom always stayed the hell out of it! My mom doesn't have a FB account, doesn't even have a computer, and doesn't know WHO the hell our kid has on their FB friend list! So, quit talkin' shit about my mom!"
Meanwhile, on another tab, I and his bitch (who I never met and didn't even know) are arguing!
I forgot her disrespectful words to me, but I said, "First of all, you watch how you come at me. You don't fuckin' know me like that! Two, my kid controls who is and isn't on their FB. I didn't even know your ass was on it! My child is almost 18, so if you want to talk about who they delete from there, you better talk to them. And also, they said you never even said hello to them, and never spoke to them anyway, so what the fuck does it matter to you?!"
Her reply? "Yeah, whatever."
I shook my head and told him, "You better get your bitch!" Then I sent him our entire conversation. After her "Yeah, whatever", I guess she saw I wouldn't take any shit from her and she never said anything else to me. When he read it, he says, "Yeah, she always says that."
In 2016, he harassed me because our kids didn't go by their birthnames on FB. He told me I was a bad mother to let them do that.
"They went by those usernames for a year or more, and you never said anything!"
"Yeah, well, it's starting to bother me now. I don't like it."
"For the duration of our marriage, I never went by my real name. You never CALLED me my real name, and you never said my mother was a bad mother for it. You never said anything about it, and you never had a complaint!"
"You were going by that name before I met you!"
"The fact still remains, they are two young people playing with their identity, and seeing who they want to be in this world, JUST LIKE I DID! How the fuck is what they're doing any different from what I did, and how the hell does that make me a bad mother?"
"Because it's stupid and r-word(ed)!" <<<< He said the actual word >>>>
He literally argued with me for several hours about their goddamn FB names! He blocked me after that. Later that night or the next day, he unblocked me. So, I blocked him! He got into an argument with our oldest later that day when they confronted him for making me cry. I was taking care of my mother who was bed-bound and dying by then, and he decided to harass me about that. My oldest was angry. He called them a "bitch" and a "little shit", and despite the fact that he hadn't even been around them for maybe thirteen years or more at that point, he even pulled the, "I'm still your father" card!
My oldest said, "HA! You're just a n**ga who was a sperm donor for my mommy!" He's white, and I'm black, but they still said it. LOL!
About a year or two after that, I heard he got in an argument with his girlfriend and broke her wrist. Did she stay with him after? I have no clue. Really don't care either. Around the holidays of 2020, he moved from Pennsylvania, back to Alabama, but hasn't tried to contact us. Mainly, because we (my kids and I) blocked him, but still.
He's not the only source of my past trauma (though he did supply a fair amount of it). You'll have to wait for my biography to get a handle on the rest.
Writing is a great escape for me. It helps me to explore my sensual side. It helps me create a little bit of comedy. I get to have arguments I didn't get to have in real life. When I create characters based on myself or my mom, I let us fight back in ways we never got the chance to in real life. I try not to let my characters have to be "rescued". Maybe there are a couple of stories like that, but I didn't want my characters to be "damsels in distress". I don't mind a woman being rescued every once in a while. A woman who can defend herself and kick-ass while doing it is much more fun to write, though.
A lot of my true life struggles and pain are sprinkled into my stories. Sometimes, I even let other people experience what I went through and help them through it. The rapes, the physical abuse, mental abuse, hurt feelings, etc. are experienced by characters based on me or some of my muses, and they triumph through it. Probably better than I did, while sometimes getting a little bit of revenge. Anyways, you can find all that out by reading the stories I have available and waiting on the others.
Can't wait to let y'all in on other things I have in progress. Deuces!
To purchase my first two eBooks click the links below. They're only $0.99!
To listen to some of my book reviews, movie reviews, musical "knowledge", and other commentaries on pop culture and social issues, click here: Rose's YouTube Channel
Comments
Post a Comment